I’ve been feeling really great lately. Like really, REALLY great. It’s such a far cry from the incessant anxiety, panic, intrusive thoughts, and depression that flooded me before the wedding earlier this year. Now, I spend whole days without any of those things and I’m getting to see how “normal” people must feel most of the time.
And of course, after days of sweetness and ease, my mind starts to race with, “what if all of that anxiety comes back?” Or even just, “WHEN is it going to come back?” as if I fully expect it to. I’ve also found myself feeling guilty for being so happy when so many others are suffering. I haven’t felt inspired to post about anything other than good, happy stuff on my Instagram, and I wonder if people hate seeing me bounce around all joyful. And of course, there’s always the fear of “jinxing it.” Continue reading